Never Lost In Love

Maybe it’s just me, but I suspect it is human nature to constantly seek answers to life’s most ambiguous questions. And it seems we return through these questions to the same vital issues: what is it all about? how do we live fully? With every experience, I find myself speculating these great unknowns. And I think that each experience has brought me closer to the center of what may not be the explanation, but my interpretation of it.

In the past months, cancer’s venom has soaked our lifeblood, and in a blur, Angelo and I have found ourselves standing in the middle of new ground – dense with emotion and turmoil. But despite the blinding trepidation of this disease, even in the thick of it, we lift our heads and the base of our spirits remains – the part of our self that cradles our very essence and sings our heart song. It is never lost.

In love, we are never lost. In crisis and struggle, and even in our hurry of daily doings, we leave pieces of ourselves in the wake of life’s noise. But just as the sky begins to glow when night seems it will never end, there is something indestructible at the center of each of us. The love within us embodies endless tranquility. Peace. Happiness. God.

I’m not there quite yet. I am trying. Daily I am faced with distraction. We all fear breaking; we face monsters every single day, whether it be cancer, a broken heart, or a bruised ego. Each of us is a tiny will striving to find and ride the Universal current without perishing, challenged to stay in the moment and quiet our minds and hearts in love. Days roll by, bills need to be paid, meals need to be made, emails, phone calls, gas in the car, clothes in the drier, dogs walked, and on and on; our list of to-dos is forever.

But freedom comes only when we are so immersed in our moment of living in itself, for itself, that we can see how the infinite coherence of all things continues like a great bottomless stream; and we can dance the ghosts from the chambers of our wounds, loving whatever gets in the way until it ceases to be an obstacle. Because even when we tumble, we are all part of a current larger than our own design.

Certainly we may never have the answers to our questions. Faith is crucial. Faith is no more than the willingness and bravery to enter and ride the stream. This is a hard bit of consciousness to ask for. I’m not saying the obligations of living will disappear; it will always be work. But when we open our hearts to one another and fall in love with the beauty of kindness, compassion, and the thread that ties us all together, the glory of living shines down on us….

And, I believe, miracles can happen.